We Didn’t Stop the Virus
An old friend of mine issued me several quick-writing challenges during the first year of covid. This time it was to do a parody of the Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire,” about the first half of 2020…
Aussie fires near the shore, Libya’s in civil war,
Soleimani, Netanyahu, Brexit is a go
Kim Jong-un’s building a weapon, Cory Booker got to steppin’,
John Delaney, Marianne zany, no POTUS Castro
Billie Eilish, Kobe’s gone, Ozzy Osborne Parkinson’s
Jakarta floods, Chinese spies, threats on Iran’s cultural sites
Harry & Meghan snub the queen, Wuhan’s under quarantine
Vegas Raiders, Venezuela, Iran shoots down a flight
We didn’t stop the virus
It will just infect us
Since our leader’s feckless
We didn’t stop the virus
No, we couldn’t shelf it
‘cuz we’re much too selfish
Puerto Rican earthquake tolls, Chiefs have won the Super Bowl
Colonel Vindman, Gordon Sondland fired by Trump
Roger Stone, Jim Jordan, Blagojevich and others pardoned
Wells Fargo fake accounts, Yang and Bennett bumped
Newspapers have to fold, Parasite wins Oscar gold
Harvey Weinstein goes to jail, Tom Steyer will also bail
Boy Scouts’ shame brings bankruptcy, shooting in a brewery,
Trump’s impeached, pandemic’s reached, COVID spikes in Italy
We didn’t stop the virus
Simple social distance
Got met with resistance
We didn’t stop the virus
We ignored the warnings
Now there’s thousands mourning
Buttigieg, Klobuchar, Tulsi, Bloomberg, won’t go far
Great momentum, then fall flat? Warren had a plan for that
Virus isolates Ted Cruz, that’s enough from Chris Matthews
Nashville in tornados’ path, Tom Hanks too feels COVID’s wrath
Cruise ships filled with virus docked, all of Italy is locked
Daily briefs by Cuomo, sports season’s a no-go
New orders to stay indoors, S.S. Comfort docked offshore
Stimulus checks, funds to execs, Tax Day has been postponed
We didn’t stop the virus
Couldn’t stand the tedium
So we whined ‘bout fReEdOm
We didn’t stop the virus
Numbers don’t diminish
By pretending it’s finished
Olympics postponed for a year, Brady is a Buccaneer?!
Vi-rus ri-ses, Trump says it will disappear
Businesses get PPP, states compete for PPE,
San-ders drops-out, Biden is the nominee
Tony Fauci hems and haws, Trump says to inject Lysol
50,000 more per day, what else do I have to say?!
We didn’t stop the virus
We opened much too quickly
And made millions sickly
We didn’t stop the virus
Soon we’ll all be patients
Since we’re so impatient
Navy Captain Crozier, Flynn’s life looks much rosier
Bolsonaro, murder hornets, SpaceX launch and dock
15 percent unemployed, racist cop kills George Floyd
Black Lives Matter, I Can’t Breathe, words of protest fill the streets
Rubber bullets, gas the peace, defund militant police
Unmarked cops, Bibles as props, Lafayette cleared for photo ops
Armed like soldiers off to war, ram the crowds with police cars
Shove old men in Buffalo, we won’t take it anymore!
We didn’t stop the virus
It’s just much too tasking
To save lives by masking
We didn’t stop the virus
Sorry ‘bout your father
But we can’t be bothered
Breonna Taylor, Arbery, jogging isn’t robbery,
Tony McDade, Rayshard Brooks, birdwatching makes you a crook
Aunt Jemima, Uncle Ben, Canceled COPS, Gone with the Wind
Statues, flags have had their day, now meet The Chicks and Lady A
Trump’s dogwhistles still repulsive, Juneteenth rally flops in Tulsa
K-pop stans and Tik Toks win, try Hydroxychloroquine?
KKK back on the rise, Twitter fact-checks some Trump lies
Bolton book, Barr’s a crook, Geoffrey Berman gets the hook
Supreme Court makes two wrongs righted,
Epstein’s fixer gets indicted
Russian bounties on our soldiers,
Europe bans us from their borders
Though this all feels more than plenty,
We’re just halfway through 2020
We didn’t stop the virus
No, we couldn’t face it
‘cuz we’re dumb and racist
We didn’t stop the virus
Since we’re all mor-ons,
It’ll still go on and on and on and on…
