WAP
Sometimes, cooking dinner inspires me to write songs…
Carnivores in this house
Carnivores in this house
Carnivores in this house
Carnivores in this house
I said, certified freak
Dinner with a beak
Wet-ass poultry
Make that diet game weak!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, you plucking on some wet-ass poultry
Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet-ass poultry
Give me lotsa bread to sop up this wet-ass poultry
Heat it up, fry it in some oil
Bake or roast or grill or broil
Don’t forget to refrigerate
Leave it out too long, it’ll spoil
Chop that squab, butter its hide
Shove some stuffing up inside
Legs and wings and breasts and thighs
This poultry is wet; this ain’t Popeye’s
Truss it up, seal its demise
This bird’s got wings, but it never flies
I want you to slice that Peking duck
Right here at my tableside
Let’s get frisky, make me Kishke
Coq au Vin or cock with whiskey
Original’s fine if you’re not risky
But let me tell you ‘bout this Extra Crispy
Gobble it, swallow it, Tikka Masala it
You ever had Biryani? Now, that’s some praise Allah shit
Don’t plan for leftovers, ‘cuz I’m ‘bout to eat all of it
Eat your dry-ass KFC in the back of your Impala, bitch
Make some sauce, give it a toss
Ask for a toothpick or maybe some floss
You really ain’t never got turducken for the gang
You already ate half of it ‘fore they came
Now get your napkins and your bibs
For this wet-ass poultry
This shit is messier than ribs
This is wet-ass poultry
Pay the mortgage on my crib
For this wet-ass poultry
Now you best be callin’ dibs
On some wet-ass poultry
Look, I need a Brahma roaster, I need a Burma Crested
I need a Cornish game hen, I need a wild pheasant
Not a common quail, I need a Jersey Giant
With some fight in it, all loud and defiant
He got some dark meat, then that’s where I’m headed
Ain’t got no Cochins? We’ll Rhode Island Red it
Pick up that axe, I’m tryna behead it
Some barbecue sauce make it friggin’ poetic
Turn it on a spit, give it a smoke
Roast in a bag, baste it with Coke
I want you to feed me them chicken wings
‘til I have a cholesterol stroke
My heart is a time bomb, my arteries cloggy
But I love the poultry, ‘specially when it’s soggy
Haters salty as hell, like they all tryna brine me
Colonel Sanders is dead, but he still tryna sign me
Your honor, I’m a freak when it comes to chicken
I can make some poultry that’ll make your pulse quicken
Put it in the oven, wait while the magic kicks in
Naw, that shit ain’t just good – positively finger lickin’
Hey, fast food chains, I’m the one that beat ya’
When it comes to cooking up delicious tweeters
Chick-fil-A has its share of eaters
But they only wanna sell they shit to breeders
If it’s free range, it costs more change
But drown it in sauce and it all tastes the same
If you taste it you’ll ask, “What’s in it?”
Secret herbs and spices are my claim to fame
Aaahh...
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, you plucking on some wet-ass poultry
Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet-ass poultry
Give me lotsa bread to sop up this wet-ass poultry
Now from the top, fowl it up
That’s some wet-ass poultry
Now get a bucket and a mop
That’s some wet-ass poultry
I’m talking BAWK BAWK BAWK
That’s some wet-ass poultry
Make some stock in a pot
That’s some wet-ass poultry
Huh
Carnivores in this house
Carnivores in this house
