Cover Your Face, Ace

Act One, Song Two from
"Home-a-ton: A Quarantine Musical."

[COMPANY]
The year two thousand twenty. Hot Spot, U.S.

[HAMILTON]
Pardon me. Y’mind coverin’ your face, ace?

[BURR]
What’d you say to me, libtard?

[HAMILTON]
Give me space, ace
A mandatory ordinance is pretty basic, ace
That doesn’t apply to you?

[BURR]
I'm getting pissed off

[HAMILTON]
Ace…
We’re all in this together. Covering up your nose and mouth should be automatic since you can spread it even when not symptomatic, so, see? Not wearing one is a disgrace, ace. You know you’re hurting people?

[BURR]
You want a taste, ace?

[HAMILTON]
No!
I want you to care ‘bout others. This isn’t about you; be keeper of your brothers. You look at me like I’m a sucker. Did I stutter?

Why don’t you do it? Why refuse to wear a mask?

[BURR]
Because the virus is a hoax, if you must ask

[HAMILTON]
You’re an idiot. Are you… illiterate?!
God, you’re inconsiderate
And worse, you’re just oblivious
To anyone else – it’s hideous

[BURR]
Can I say what I think?

[HAMILTON]
Will you be nice?

[BURR]
While you lecture, let me offer you some free advice:
Shut. Up.

[HAMILTON]
What?

[BURR]
Butt. Out.

[HAMILTON]
Ah.

[BURR]
It’s not your business what I do with my mouth

[HAMILTON]
You can't be serious

[BURR]
You wanna end up dead?

[HAMILTON]
No

[BURR]
Well, the flag on my pickup says “Don’t tread”

[LAURENS]
Yo yo yo yo yo!
What time is it?

[LAURENS/LAFAYETTE/MULLIGAN]
Who knows?!

[BURR]
...here’s more spread...

[LAURENS]
Me time! Me time! Yo!
Drinkin’ in bars is the place to be!
I’ve infected two people and I’m workin’ on three, uh!
Those lab coats don't resonate with me!
Cuz I make uninformed decisions and claim that I’m free!

[LAFAYETTE]
Hey, y’all! Didja’ call? It’s yer boy Lafayette!
Just gonna pretend that there’s no respiratory threat!
I’m havin’ a fiesta for my cousin’s third trimester
None of us are tested, but wanna infect
The rest of ya’

[MULLIGAN]
Brrraaah-choo! I am Hercules Mulligan
Your neighborhood republican – yes, I see your lungs are strugglin’
Not gonna wear a mask; it’s political – I’m critically
Unable to see I’m hypocritically parasitical…

[LAURENS]
This whole virus thing is blown out of proportion
Let's raise a couple more...

[LAURENS/LAFAYETTE/MULLIGAN]
To self-absorption!

[LAURENS]
Well, if it ain't the spokesman of the anti-vaxxin’

[MULLIGAN]
Aaron Burr!

[LAURENS]
Give us some spin, start some waxin’!

[BURR]
Good luck with that: you enjoy your vaccine
I won’t be a part of the liberal machine

[LAFAYETTE/MULLIGAN]
Ooooo!

[LAURENS]
Burr, you’d turn down a vaccine? Man, the stupid is strong with you.

[HAMILTON]
You’d waste your chance to help, Burr? What the hell’s wrong with you?

[LAURENS]
Ooh
Who are you?

[MULLIGAN]
Who are you?

[LAFAYETTE]
Who are you?

[MULLIGAN/LAFAYETTE/LAURENS]
Ooh, who is this kid, in the vaccine queue?