Summer Parody: June 23-30, 2022
The Mission:
Summer Parody:
Summer officially began last week, so let’s work that into this week’s assignment. Write a parody of an existing work - a song, a poem, a scene from a play, whatever. The only rule is that you must either choose something that was written about summer and write a parody of it about something else - or choose something non-summer and write a summer-themed parody of it.
The Submissions:
Parody of Ella Fitzgerald's "Summertime" from Porgy & Bess - by Soldier Clinging to Helicopter
Summertime, and the livin' ain't easy
Supreme Court revoking laws, and now women will die
Oh, that daddy's rich and bought Kavanaugh's seat
Enough to make you wanna cry
One of these mornings, we're gonna rise up raging
Pull out the pussy hats (again) and march on high(est court in the land)
Until that morning, keep rocking the vote
Oh, wait -- that only works if Dems codify
Summertime, and the livin' ain't easy
Happy 4th, have some apple pie
I'll celebrate this greatest country
with some rye; cheers to the lie
Parody of “Summer Nights” from Grease - by Captain Quillard
Insurrection hearings at last
Investigation findings broadcast
Laying out the conspiracy
I spend my days glued to TV
Democra-say’s driftin’ away
Thanks to Trump and some fascistic whites
A-well-a-well-a-well-a huh
Tell me more, tell me more
Did you talk to Bill Barr?
Tell me more, tell me more
Like, is Rudy disbarred?
Uh-huh – doo-doo – uh-huh – doo-doo – uh-huh – doo-doo-doo-doo-doo
He made wild claims of cheating and fraud,
Duped supporters with the façade,
Summoned a mob to Capitol grounds
And that’s not all the Committee found
Lies were spun, exposure’s begun
But, oh, will DOJ indict?
A-well-a-well-a-well-a huh
Tell me more, tell me more
Was he told that he lost?
Tell me more, tell me more
Did he target Shaye Moss?
Down doo-be-doo doo-be-doo doo-be-doo-be-doo-be down
Down doo-be-doo doo-be-doo doo-be-doo-be-doo-be down
Fake electors in the charade
Milked supporters so he’d get paid
He made out well with this crock
Never guessed his whole team would squawk
Some right-wing are starting to sing
But, oh, so much more comes to light
Whoa, whoa, whoa
Tell me more, tell me more
Can we lock up this crew
Tell me more, tell me more
‘Cuz this sounds like a coup
Shoo-da-bop-bop shoo-da-bop-bop shoo-da-bop-bop shoo-da-bop-bop
Shoo-da-bop-bop shoo-da-bop-bop shoo-da-bop-bop yeah!
He got friendly with Putin’s toys
Well, he got friendly with the Proud Boys
He would tweet “Gonna be wild!”
Well, he’s a cheat – that’s putting it mild
Such deceit, but we’ve got receipts
And, now, your cronies are contrite
Whoa, whoa, whoa
Tell me more, tell me more
Complicit senators starred in
Tell me more, tell me more
“Can you get me a pardon?”
Lies emboldened all of his friends
So he told them, “Let’s hang Mike Pence”
Then he launched his treasonous plot
Wonder if charges will be brought
So many schemes – corrupt regime
But, oh…
Will Garland indict?
Tell me more
Tell me more
“Beach” (Parody of “Bitch” by Meredith Brooks) - by Anonymous Frau Redux
It’s time to get away
Somewhere near the sea
Ya know things gotta change
Tired as hell, yeah
Just look at me now baby
I’m tense and clenching teeth
Feeling incomplete
Everyday I sigh
Dreaming ‘bout the beach
To stay at the seaside
Got the master card, charges weren’t refused
Too good to be true
It’s a little bit of everything
Gonna have some fun
I need beach
I need water
Need a drink
Bring another
I’m no swimmer
No I ain’t
There’ll be peace of mind reclaimed
I’ll be well
I can dream
Down shore I’ll sing some Queen
Ya know I’d really like to go away someday
Oh, pack a suit to tan
Add some flips flops and the sunscreen in a can
Rest and shore, but we depart by air service
I’ll be laying in sunbeams
Tomorrow will be strange
We’ll be on our way flying!
I need beach
I need water
Need a drink
Bring another
I’m no swimmer
No I ain’t
There’ll be peace of mind reclaimed
I’ll be well
I can dream
Down shore I’ll sing some Queen
Ya know I’d really like to go away someday!
Just when ya think it’s been all figured out
Reservation’s already changin’
Don’t play me fools, just do what you do
And the beach is callin’
I need beach
I need water
Need a drink
Bring another
I’m no swimmer
No I ain’t
There’ll be peace of mind reclaimed
I’ll be well
I can dream
Down shore I’ll sing some Queen
Ya know I’d really like to go away some day
I need beach
A warm breeze
I’ll wade out just to my knees
I’m off work
Cause it’s summer
So much wonder to discover
In the sun
I’m alive
Stay four days maybe five
Ya know I really want to go away someday!
“Summertime Sandwich” (Parody of “Summertime Sadness” by Lana del Rey) - by Espy la Copa
Kiss me hard before you go
Steak Thyme sandwich
I just wanted you to know
That baby, you the best
I got my red bib on tonight
Eatin' in the dark, with a Blizz Sobe Lite
Bake my buns up real big, Philly cheese style
Wilmington Pike, I'm feelin' alive
Oh, my God, I feel it in the air
Parmesan fries above are sizzlin' like a snare
Honey, I'm on fire, turn my sandwich to a wrap
Nothin' scares me anymore
Kiss me, 'shroom Provolone
Steak Thyme sandwich
Perfection-baked Italiano
Baby, you the best
I got that summertime, summertime sandwich
Su-su-summertime, summertime sandwich
Got that summertime, summertime sandwich
Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
I'm feelin' A1 Crunch tonight
Single 1/4 pound runs $9.99
Got that A1 Cheesesteak by my side
I know if I go, I'll die happy tonight
Oh, my God, I smell it in the air
Outside the Meijer, I'm done, cravin's more than I can bear
Honey baklava, 2 minutes I'll be there
Nothin' scares me anymore
Think I'll crave you for all time
Pot Roast Philly, Gyros, and Veggie Delight
I'll have to visit the mall Thyme
Across from La-Z-Boy, I'm gonna drive, drive
I got that summertime, summertime sandwich
Su-su-summertime, summertime sandwich
Got that summertime, summertime sandwich
Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
I have never actually been to Steak Thyme.
Works cited: https://www.steakthyme.com/menu
Next Week’s Assignment:
Step One:
Ask a friend to write down a list of 16 items for you. The first 16 things they think of -- likely quite random. Could be pizza, could be sex, could be world peace. They should not show you the list or share it with you while they make it. No coaching or persuasion! Ideally, they would write each item on a note card or a scrap piece of paper so the 16 items could be stacked/looked at one at a time.
Step Two:
Find any sheet of 8.5 x 11" inch paper & fold it in half four times so that when unfolded, the creases result in 16 tiny little frames/panes.
Step Three:
Grab a pen/pencil/marker/crayon/quill & the stack of 16 items your friend generated for you. Turn over one item at a time, and draw one item per square on your paper -- but set a timer and give yourself no longer than 30 seconds per drawing. The goal is to move quickly and to avoid overthinking. The goal is NOT to draw well, so silence the inner critic, whatever his/her/their name is ("That's enough out of you, ROBERTA!").
Everything on the honor system here, of course. Gratitude to the cartoonist Lynda Barry, from whom I took (and slightly modified) this exercise.