Odes: In Praise of Unsung Objects: May 19-26, 2022
The Mission:
Write an ode to something you wouldn’t ordinarily find elevated to the level of prosaic tribute but couldn’t get by without nonetheless. I mean, isn’t it high time we extolled the virtues of double-sided tape? Pablo Neruda was the king of odes to everyday objects praising, among other things, his socks and his cranium.
Write in whatever tone you’d like and feel free to look up the stylistic traits of odes, just give attention this week to something which you tend to take for granted.
Bonus points if you include a picture of the praised object.
The Submissions:
Ode to the Throne
by Wendy DeLong
Hail the porcelain god
That stays cool in wait.
Remains unassuming
Comfortable in the dark
Gleaming in the light.
Hail the porcelain gods
Heavy lidded state.
Forgiving,
Benedictine.
Washing away the sins
Of the modern diet.
Hail time on the throne ~
Common folk as well as
Queens and Kings
Savoir moments alone
Visiting Mrs. Murphy
Hail the John
Practical, reliable
Sturdy, yet cause for debate
Lid down on custom?
Seat up a penalty worthy of purgatory?
Hail the Loo
On any side of the world
White and cool welcomes
The weary and the wired too
Hail the country commode
Who halts when the power is out
And becomes a repository of
Buckets of unholy water
Hail the Throne
And daily time alone.
My freshly college graduated kid says it’s a no-no in academia to rehash a former project and pass it off as new material. To which I say, this is timeless “art” and freely admit was previously produced, but not for academic submission.
In my former profession the creative juices flowed freely when given a prompt or product and 30-60 second radio commercials were created. Although I utilized another’s vocal talent- the music choice, script and editing were mine for a Nabisco campaign in Wichita circa 1994. Transcribed from cassette tape available via voice recording for your listening pleasure. (My kid’s player was busted, none of the old cassette players in the house worked and Amazon failed me in delivery of a player by deadline date. Radio Shack for the win on a Jensen SCR-75 stereo cassette player with AM/FM radio.)
Ode to Ritz Cracker
by Anonymous Frau Redux
Ya know I like to rhyme, I rhyme all the time.
Being an avid snacker, I present an ode to Ritz Cracker:
Ritz Cracker of mine, your shape is so fine.
You’re perfectly round and bought by the pound.
Don’t have to be a sly fox to find your red box.
Ritz when I took you home you inspired this poem.
To my abode- friends I’ll invite, and then- this ode I’ll recite.
Ritz with peanut butter or jelly, so good and fills my belly.
Ritz with luncheon meat is also a treat.
Ritz with cheese or honey from bees,
With a salad or soup, for Ritz I’d…hula hoop.
Ritz whole wheat are really neat.
Low salt Ritz crackers are good for snackers.
The more I write, I need a Ritz to bite.
Without you, I’d go out of my wits, cause everything is better when it sits on a ritz.
(Additional commercial info on sale and where to find them. Blah blah blah.)
Ritz crackers are so neat.
Ritz crackers can’t be beat!
Ode on a Mexican Pizza
by Captain Quillard
Thou sodium-laden abomination,
Thou garbage food of my affection,
I’m grateful that a vocal nation
Hath brought about your resurrection
They discontinued my fav’rite snack
But that mistake is now amended
And, at long last, I’m glad you’re back—
Our long national nightmare ended
I’ve loved you since I was eleven
Back when my mom would place my order
And, to this day, your trashy heaven
Elicits my runs to the border
Thine refried beans and mystery meat
Lie nestled ‘twixt two crisp tortillas
Still, somehow you resemble Mexico’s eats
About as much as North Korea’s
To call you “pizza”—also illusion
Despite your tomatoes and scallions—
‘Might pass for Mexi-merican fusion
But you’re sure as shit not Italian
You’ve enchilada sauce and cheese
As high as you can stack it
But, to complete, I add to these
About four hot sauce packets
They took you away! What were those fools
At Taco Bell Co. thinking?!
For you, my hungry mouth still drools
And not just when I’m drinking
I suspect it was a marketing ploy
To drive sales and publicity
Claim that it’s gone, get folks annoyed,
A “comeback” of duplicity
If that’s the case, it worked on me
I’m not ashamed to say so
I was first in line to purchase thee
Along with chips and queso
O’ longtime friend! O’ hangover cure!
Welcome back from your long pausing
You’re almost worth what I’ll endure
From the stomach pain you’re causing
Next Week’s Assignment:
Create a comic strip or graphic novelesque panel (three-block minimum) on the subject of your choice.